I’m turning bad. I’m turning to the the dark side. Like Darth Vader, like a Lost Ark Raider, like a possessed Clare Raynor. I’m no longer the person I used to be.
Times are changing and so am I. You want to throw shit at me, life? I’ll chuck it right back at you, and there we’ll be, life and I, like a pair of institutionalised monkeys in the zoo, chucking crap at each other for fun and possibly exploring our genitalia publicly. I’m not sure where this analogy is going, to be honest.

I’ve had little time this week for writing, never mind posey pictures of me whooping it up with delirium about my latest charity snags. I still have so much to show you. So much dear reader, so much. But for now you’ll have to content yourself with these little treats, you glutton.

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Nothing says ‘I want to be taken seriously but my hot body lets me down’ better than this black leather pencil skirt, fully lined, with pockets, for a fiver from the YMCA. Young man! There’s no need to feel down! I said! Etc

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There is nothing like understatement in your accessories and these wooden flamingo earrings are NOTHING LIKE UNDERSTATEMENT in your accessories. The jewelry equivalent of a pair of red braces or a revolving bow tie these are like migraine fuel for your ears. PDSA 75pennicles.

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Holy Fucksticks. You know what happened? I found this piece of fabric, like it, bought it for a quid, got it home and discovered it was a Liberty Bauhaus print. It even says so on the hem, for twerps like me who don’t check these things. Love it LOVE IT LOVE IT so much I have started a joint bank account with it, and am considering giving it head.

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