Books, books books. Man, I love books. While I stop short of actually licking the pages of a book, I will sleep with them. Not like that. Well, not all of them like that. I would certainly not fuck a Jeremy Clarkson book, or anything bearing the name of Richard Littlejohn.

So, we’re getting off point and I’ve only just started. Stop making me talk about which books I’d fuck. What are you, a PERVERT?

This website is brilliant. You can have your ideal bookshelf custom painted – and by that I mean the books themselves, not your bookcase – or you can buy collection prints. Lovely, aren’t they? Now if you don’t like books, this will be a whole new level of HUH? for you, and you may as well skip to the bit about my new hair. If you don’t like hair either than, my friend, this is not the page for you.

So it got me thinking. Here is my ideal bookshelf.


What have we got here? From L-R

‘The Collector Collector’ by Tibor Fischer. Odd, funny and brilliant. This is a copy my friend lent me aeons ago. He can have it back when he posts me my ‘Stone Junction‘ by Jim Dodge.

‘The Magic Cottage‘ by James Herbert. Spooky and very ‘English countryside’, like a haunted Cath Kidston shop.

‘The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test’ by Ken Kesey. Weird and wonderful tome about the Merry Pranksters. I believe there may have been drugs involved.

‘Good Omens’ by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Hilarious. Deserves a knighthood and a big kiss.

‘Not Fade Away’ by Jim Dodge. Is here standing in for Stone Junction (see first on list)

‘Tales of the Unexpected’ by Roald Dahl. Battered and worn but still readable this is a great book for journeys. Little twisted tales which are the equivalent of looking over the edge of a cliff. You know it won’t hurt you, but it still makes you nervous.

‘Rachel’s Holiday’ by Marian Keyes – Funny, touching, brilliantly plotted. Marian Keyes is my guiltiest pleasure.

‘Christine’ by Stephen King – No-one writes like Stephen King. I LOVE THIS MAN.

‘The Stud’ by Jackie Collins – Not included as some delightful little knowing hipster post ironic nod to the fucking eighties or something, this is a great book stuffed with salaciousness, sex and the rich written by a woman with an attitude the size of Texas.

‘Watchmen’ – by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. This book blew me away. I cannot recommend it enough to everyone, ever.

Folklore, Myths and Legends of Britain‘ – Various Authors. This is a reference book to the supernatural, folk tales, pagan rituals, hauntings, myths and legends of the British Isles. I have lost many rainy afternoons to it.


In foreground;

The Book I’m Reading;

‘Brodmaw Bay‘ by F.G Cotham. Slowly creeping tale about a couple who move to a remote Cornish village. Oddly spooky, like the Wicker Man, although with 100% less Edward Woodward.

The Book I’m Reading Next;

‘Rebecca’ by Daphne du Maurier. Because I’ve heard good things.

Alright, I hear you.

“Jesus Daisy, no wonder you’re depressed if this is what you consider fun.”

This post isn’t about to be getting any fun-ner, buddy.

During my charity shop drag-netting I have found a few books which I have bought purely based on the AWESOME author photos on the inside or back covers. Not many authors have these photos anymore, and if I’m ever fortunate enough to be in a position to necessitate one for myself you can bet your sweet ass I will be emulating this woman;


Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. Your hair, too large to fit on the page, and boufféd beyond good sense. Your skinny leopard print tie. I see you’ve popped your collar too. Is that – Jackie, is that a GOLD DIAMONTE LEOPARD BROOCH PROWLING YOUR WHITE JACKET? It is? I want to be everything about this photo.


Stephen ‘The King’ King. I have no idea what they asked you to do in this shot but I’m willing to put money on the fact that “Pull a ludicrously sceptical face, Stephen!” wasn’t it.

I’m on the hunt for more.