You’re familiar with the film, right? Robert Redford offers Demi Moore the chance to earn a million dollars for a sexy night on his millionaire boner. She’s broke and although it threatens to destroy their relationship she and partner Woody Harrelson agree to go through with it. Then Woody Harrelson makes cash from hustling basketball hoops in the ghetto or something. Hang on, that’s White Men Can’t Jump. Okay, whatever.

The bright and shiny new millennium had promised many things. Hoverboards, neon vaginas and pixel sized mobile phones powered by Moon Juice.

Although I received none of my promised futuristic gadgetry, in 2000 things were going well for me. I’d just moved in with my boyfriend and made a ton of friends at my workplace which was less a form of employment and more an excuse to dick about in a confined space.

When I was offered a promotion – which entailed moving to a different part of the building and to my own, remarkably small office – I said ‘yes’. Just three weeks later the company director had offered me ten thousand pounds to ‘spend the night with him’.

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