I have a friend who writes haikus. The ancient Japanese form of poetry which is as fragile and intricate as a snowflake, it scrapes away the flab of language to reveal the bare bones beneath.

I, like most luckless proles with butterfingers for the English language, have just smashed away at my keyboard with my lumpen, mis-shapen fists and smashed out these bastards which I hope you will enjoy reading. I hope you enjoy them with your eyes as much as I liked composing them with my brain and fingers.

haikus for Jason Statham.

Puppy eyes, bald patch

You were brilliant in Snatch

My wipe-clean tough guy.

 

Expendables.

You should narrow the cast list.

Bruce Willis too much.

 

Crank. Was it a film

Or a migraine, such was my

pain upon watching.

I !! LOVE YOU JA SON StaSTHAM.!

jason-statham-shorthair

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