I love haiku, the ancient Japanese form of poetry, but you wouldn’t know it from these horrors I dreamed up waiting for a train yesterday. Because I realised, as the wind blow litter and rain into my actual face, that if we all pooled the money we as a human race had collectively spent watching either one of the Charlie’s Angels films at the cinema we could have eased the poverty of a large portion of the globe.

But alas. We did not. Because given the choice between feeding one more starving moron and watching Lucy Lui dead eye her way through a stripper routine I know where my bucks are going, baby.



Kicky boom women

Sometimes they are in outfits

Look at my hair, wheee!


This film should be called

“Charlie’s Angel’s : Jesus Wept”

or “Shouty Pain Gang”


Who the hell was Boz?

Did he have a golden cock

which jizzed diamonds?

Here comes Tim Curry!

Is it good he is in this?

Face falls. It’s Bill Murray.


Giggle! Tits! Roundhouse!

Groin shot like you wouldn’t believe

Your dad looks turned on 😦